


Broken Bonds, Broken Souls

by Annerp



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Anal Sex, Angst, Character Death, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluffy Ending, Fuck Or Die, Implied Sexual Content, Loki did not fall from the bifrost, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Oral Sex, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Self-Hatred, Sick Steve Rogers, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve and Loki are not soulmates, Thanos who?, Thor is a good friend, frostshield - Freeform, i'm just doing whatever I want over here, sad Steve Rogers, steve is dying, stoki - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-19 04:15:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17594441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annerp/pseuds/Annerp
Summary: Everyone has a soul mate to bond with, but what happens when your bond is broken?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 2 of my favorite tropes are soulmates and fuck or die. So naturally I need to combine them and make it Steve and Loki.
> 
>  
> 
> The "soulmate rules" will be explained in the first few chapters as they come up.

 

Chapter 1

 

_1\. Everyone is born with a soul mate. Usually close in age and life expectancy._

 

“She's gone. In her sleep.”

When Steve opened the door to his Brooklyn apartment and found Sharon Carter standing there with Tony, Thor, Sam, Natasha, Clint and Bruce, he knew. Even before Sharon said those words. He knew. Its not like it was a surprise. She was old, in her nineties. And no matter how tenacious or strong she was, some things just can’t be out run. Like age. At least for everyone, except Steve himself it seems.

Steve jerks the door open wider and walks past all of his friends. He knows they are there to comfort him, but he walks the gauntlet between them, trying not to flinch when a well meaning hand is placed on his shoulder or words of sympathy find their way to his ears. 

“I’d like to be alone,” he murmurs as he walks.

He takes several flights of stairs up to the roof of his building and stands looking out over the city. One hand goes to his eyes and tries to rub away the burn of threatening tears. The other goes to his chest and presses against the ache located at his heart. 

He is grateful that they don’t follow. He cannot bring himself to look into their faces and see the pity he knows will be there. Briefly, Steve wonders if maybe they don't know. He just assumed everyone did. Just like they knew everything else about him. Because when he came out of the ice, he learned Captain America has no secrets from the world. Not even this one.

It doesn’t matter really. They will all know soon. The entire world will know soon enough that Steve Rogers has lost his soul mate.

 

_2\. No one knows who their soul mate is until they meet them. There are no identifying marks or clues as to your soul mate’s identity or when and where you will meet._

 

When it happened he didn't even realize it until much later. Standing out on the training field he assumed the flaring pain in his chest was just another reminder of his asthma and of how stupid he was to think he could make it through basic training without dropping dead. So he chooses to ignore it, as much as he can anyway. 

And even when he got back to the barracks he didn't notice right away. Always choosing to hang back and shower after the rest of his group were done with theirs and either out of the barracks or asleep. Tonight, the entire group is out, having been given the next two days off as leave now that Steve has been chosen for Project Rebirth.

He never admitted it out loud, but Steve was deeply ashamed of his body. Not only for what he saw in the mirror, but also for the way his body continued to fail him day after day, always reminding him of what he can never be. And this time, when he pulled his shirt over his head, he saw something else to remind him that he will never be like every one else.

 

_3\. When soul mates meet for the first time, they each receive a mark just above their heart with the other person's name._

 

He didn't feel the joy or elation that should have come with finding his soul mates name delicately inscribed over his heart. Instead he felt utter disappointment knowing that he was destined to be part of a failed soul mate bond. 

If it had been anyone else, anyone at all, it would have hurt less, but seeing the name Margaret Peggy Carter looking back at him in the mirror tore at him in ways that all the years of bullying and illness did not. 

“Are you ready for your big day tomorrow?” 

Steve quickly jerks his shirt back down from where he had rucked it up to run his fingers over Peggy’s name. 

“Um yeah? I guess?” He nervously crosses his arms over his chest as though the mark can be seen through the army issue fabric. 

“Come, have a seat.” Dr. Erskine gestures to Steve to come sit on the side of his bed, while the older man sits on the bunk across from him. “Do you know why you were chosen today?”

Steve opens his mouth and then stops, looking utterly confused, causing Dr. Erskine to laugh.

“The serum amplifies everything inside, so good becomes great; bad becomes worse. This is why you were chosen. Because the strong man who has known power all his life, may lose respect for that power, but a weak man knows the value of strength, and knows... compassion.”

“Thanks. I think.”

“Whatever happens tomorrow, you must promise me one thing. You will stay who you are. Not a perfect soldier, but a good man.”

Steve ducks his head and doesn’t respond, but he can’t stop his hand from creeping up to his chest again. 

Dr. Erskine raises an eyebrow and gestures vaguely to where Steve’s hand lays, “most people do not look so anxious about their mark. Except for one young man, in my town back in Germany. Karl Muller. A talented blacksmith, he was conscripted into the army and when he was ordered to strip down for his physical, everyone was able to see the mark of his soul mate, Hermann Wagner.”

Dr. Erskine looks at Steve pointedly, waiting for the young man to make the connection. He doesn’t have to wait long.

“No! Nothing like that.” Although Steve shudders to think that it very easily could have been a man’s name, just a well as a woman’s, on his chest.

“Its just…” he takes a breath, “whatever happens tomorrow, I don’t want anyone to see it.”

“Ah, well that may be problematic. But I assure you, I will do what I can.”

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

Chapter 2

 

For her part, when Peggy looked over the line of trainees she was startled by the brief flash of pain in her chest. She tries her best to ignore it, knowing exactly what it was. 

And she couldn't help feeling just a little cheated that her soulmate was one of these over confident, macho jerks. She would never admit it, but it is possible that may have contributed to her punching Hodge in the face more so than just his attitude. 

But right now she can't deal with this, notions of love and soul mates. Silly romantic dreams that would threaten to ruin everything she has spent years building up. No, she will deal with this later. When she is alone and can figure out what to do. 

The only bright side is that none of the soldiers seem to be reacting to her, so maybe she'll get lucky and have a little time to come up with a way to let her supposed soul mate know she isn't interested. Who ever they may be. 

Later that night, when she opens her blouse, dread knotting her stomach, she can't hardly believe her eyes. The name on her skin is the last one she expected and the only one that doesn't make her skin crawl. Steve Rogers. Her soulmates name is Steve Rogers. And maybe this ridiculous soul mate thing isn't so terrible after all.

 

_4\. When one soul mate dies, the other will get sick and ultimately die as well._

 

Steve’s eyes snap open at dawn, just like they always do, only this time he doesn’t want to get out of bed. He doesn’t want to start his day. All he really wants to do is curl up in his bed and grieve for the woman he loved. 

If he weren’t Captain America, he would be allowed to spend his time doing what ever he wanted. He would be allowed to grieve, to spend time with friends and family if he wanted, or even spend time making some long hidden dream come true. There is an entire industry devoted to seeing to the needs and desires of dying soul mates. It is both comforting and gruesome. 

But he is Captain America and that means he has to get up and meet with Nick Fury. There are contingency plans in place already, he knows that, but he feels the need to go over every last detail now that this has become a reality. Now that he knows he is going to die.

There are meetings to attend, plans to set in to motion. He meets with his team, announces his desire for Sam to carry on as Captain America and officially hands over leadership of the Avengers to Tony. 

Afterwards he goes home to his empty apartment. Natasha calls, inviting him to dinner and when he declines, she offers to come by instead. He tells her that he is fine, that he would prefer to be alone and that he wants to keep things as normal as possible for as long as he can. He isn’t sure if she believes him, he isn’t even sure he believes himself.

 

For the first week, nothing happens. If you don't count the way his team mates look at him with a mixture of sadness and resignation. By day 15, when still nothing has changed, things start to get a little better. And everyone including himself starts to think that maybe they were wrong.

Maybe Steve won't die. 

Could there have been some kind of mistake and Peggy wasn't truly his soulmate? But no. Steve knows with the absolute certainty that comes with that kind of bond that he and Peggy were soul mates. He is also certain their bond was not broken, despite his best efforts.

What he doesn't know is why he hasn't started to deteriorate like everyone else does until they follow their soulmate in to death. There have been stories of someone lasting for 11 days once and so no one can explain why Steve hasn't succumbed or even grown ill after 18 days. 

He wonders if maybe it has something to do with the serum. He thinks it's possible that he will be the exception and somehow he won't start to waste away and die. That is, up until he starts to cough and stumbles getting out of the shower that morning.

 

“Someone get that kid a sandwich.”

Steve hears it, but blocks it out. He knows what he looks like. He’s scared. More scared than he can ever remember being in his life. And only part of it is due to the large capsule he is about to be strapped in to. 

His eyes dart around the room. There are so many people. And of course, there is Peggy Carter. 

“Here,” Dr. Erskine calls to Steve. “Its time.”

Steve walks over to stand beside the Doctor and immediately crosses his arms over his chest protectively. 

Giving a conspiratorial wink, Dr. Erskine tells him, “this is Howard Stark. He is going to be putting you into the machine.”

Howard opens the front of the capsule and with Dr. Erskine, he crowds Steve towards it, effectively blocking him from the view of anyone else in the room. 

The two men finish prepping Steve and then it is time. 

“Go ahead and remove your shoes and then your shirt,” the Doctor instructs. 

Steve waits until the last possible moment to pull his shirt over his head and is relieved when Howard shuts the capsule door seconds later. That relief is short lived however, when he is bombarded with a pain so intense, he cannot fully comprehend it. 

Dimly, he can hear someone screaming and when Peggy’s voice comes through, yelling for the machine to be turned off, he realizes its him.

“No! Don’t! I can do this!”

And against all odds, he does. Howard is there opening the door and Steve almost falls out on to his face. Erskine grabs his arm and Howard helps steady him, pushing a shirt into his hand, but before he can even pull his thoughts together to put it on, Peggy is there. Standing right in front of him. 

Her hand darts out and touches the skin above his heart, right were her name is, before pulling back. She blushes and turns away and Steve takes the opportunity to pull the shirt over his head before anyone else can see.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dialog from when Steve crashes the Valkyrie is lifted from the Captain America First Avenger film almost in its entirety, with very minor changes for this story line.

 

Chapter 3

 

He always knew this was going to happen. He may be aging at a non appreciable rate but his soulmate did not and it was only a matter of time. He was fine with that. Honestly. That's what he told himself and that's what he told Nick Fury when they set the contingency plans in place, but now facing the reality, he realizes the enormity of the lie he told himself.

Now that Tony is the leader of the Avengers, Steve should really inform him of the change in his health. He doesn’t though. He tells Thor. And swears him to secrecy. Its not that he doesn’t like Tony, he would never have suggest him to lead otherwise. But right now he needs a friend that won’t try to analyze him, or provide false cheer, or even worse, one who makes him feel awkward and guilty for something beyond his control. 

Thor though, he is easy to be around. Strong when Steve is weak with grief. Calm in the face of Steve’s anger. Understanding and stoic in the face of Steve’s declining health.

 

 _5\. Soul mates do not have to be together. The bond can be broken, but must be acknowledged by both and by blood letting of the markings. Once this choice is made, their bond is forever broken, but their marks remain. They become the unbonded_.

 

He means to talk to her. He wants to give her the chance to break the bond. She deserves so much more than just a lab rat. But then she is gone, shipped over seas and he is sent off to be fitted for a set of tights and to learn a dance routine. 

When he see’s her again, he tries to tell her, but its hard. In his heart, he doesn’t want to break the bond. They are at war, its dangerous and anything can happen to either one of them. He knows that. He knows what he should do. He just can’t bring himself to say the words. 

He loves her. He can’t bring himself to say that either.

 

“Give me your coordinates, I’ll find you a safe landing site.”

“There’s not going to be a safe landing. But I can try and force it down.”

“I’ll get Howard on the line, he’ll know what to do.”

“There’s not enough time. This thing’s moving too fast and it’s heading for New York. I gotta put her in the water.” 

“Peggy. The bond. We have to break the bond.”

“Please, don’t do this. We have time. We can work it out.”

“Right now I’m in the middle of nowhere. If I wait any longer a lot of people are gonna die. Peggy, this is my choice.” 

“Peggy?”

“I’m here.”

“We have to…. You know what will happen. I can’t do that to you. We have to break it.”

“No.”

“Peggy…”

“This is my choice Steve.” 

….

“Then I’m gonna need a rain check on that dance.”

“Alright. A week, next Saturday, at the Stork Club.”

“You got it.”

“Eight o’clock on the dot. Don’t you dare be late. Understood?”

“You know, I still don’t know how to dance.”

“I’ll show you how. Just be there.”

“We’ll have the band play somethin’ slow. I’d hate to step on your… “

 

Steve sits in his apartment looking out the window at the street below. He watches life pass him by and waits. A shadow falls across him and he turns his head, wincing slightly at the way his body aches with even that small movement. He pulls the blanket wrapped around his shoulders just a little tighter and reaches out to take the bowl of soup Thor is handing him.

Thor sits in the chair next to Steve’s. “How fare you today?”

He has to think for a minute. Does he feel any different from yesterday? Maybe. Maybe his body hurts just a little more. Maybe he felt a little more breathless when he got out of the shower that morning.

“About the same,” he lies.

Thor frowns, hearing the lie, but does not call Steve out on it. They both know the truth. They sit in silence for awhile. The only sound, that of Steve eating his lunch. 

They sit for a while longer, until Steve is done eating. Thor takes the dishes and washes them before tidying up the apartment and doing some laundry. He doesn’t have to, but it gives him a reason to stay with Steve longer.

 

“There are options Steven,” Thor tells him as they sit on the roof of his building, after having helped Steve climb the stairs. The Asgardian is sure this will be their last trip to the roof. 

Steve doesn't answer. Just hums noncommittally. He knows. He knows exactly how it works. Peggy herself did it for the man that she married after Steve went into the ice. So yes. Steve knows his options.

 

Peggy and Howard search the ocean non stop for days, hoping desperately to find Steve alive. They know they don’t have a lot of time. If by some miracle Steve is alive out there, they need to get to him quickly. If he is not, well, they still don’t have much time. A week, maybe a few days longer. 

“It’s possible that something in the serum changed the bond. With Erskine gone, I don’t know how though,” Howard says.

Peggy only gives a grim smile in return. 

The initial grief of the first few days turns into hope as Peggy’s health doesn’t decline. Maybe Steve is alive out there. A few more days brings back the grief when they cannot find him. After a week they mutually agree, without words, to keep searching until they recover him. 

Peggy knew in her heart that Steve was still alive out there somewhere, but the days turn into weeks and then into months and then into years. Some days she wonders why she is still alive. Did Steve not die when he forced the plane down? Did he figure out a way to break their bond on his own? Or did the serum do something to change the way their bond works?

She resigns herself to never knowing the answer and throws herself back into her work, choosing to focus on what can be and no longer think about what might have been.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this chapter early because I'm having my wisdom teeth removed later today and I'm not sure I'll feel up to working on this then. 
> 
> "blood letting" is pretty much what it sounds like. A small cut is made over your soul mates name and allowed to bleed. But they both have to do it.
> 
> Also, guess who shows up in the next chapter.....


	4. Chapter 4

 

Chapter 4

 

_6\. Death can be stopped, but only if a person with a broken bond (unbonded) commits to being with the dying person. This union bonds them together, but does not make them soulmates and does not change their existing marks._

 

It has been eight months since they lost Steve. The war drags on and everything seems harder without him. Not just for the loss of his strategic mind and fighting skills that surely would have changed the course of the war, but also for other reasons, more personal ones. 

And then, there is a break through that may turn the tides in their favor and could help put an end to it. A small number of Nazi code devices had been recovered and the best minds were put to work on finding a way to decode them. 

There was some success, but the most complicated device, given the name “Enigma”, looked to be impossible to break. Cracking this device was considered crucial to the war effort. 

With the S.S.R., Peggy helped oversee the code breaking process. And so she was there to see the first real progress in breaking the Enigma machine. A young man named Alan Turing was very close to a breakthrough that would finally allow allied forces to decipher the code. 

Working closely with Alan, Peggy developed a friendship with the somewhat guarded man, even learning some of his closest held secrets. The most precious being that of his soulmate and lover. 

When Alan does not turn up for his regularly scheduled meeting with Peggy at their lab, she is immediately concerned as he is such a valuable asset to the war effort, in addition to being her friend. She immediately heads to the apartment where he was being housed to look for him.

She had last seen Alan three days prior and knew he had taken the last two days as leave and had planned to spend the time with his lover. When she reached his apartment, she had hoped to find him caught up in the bliss of having this rare time to be together. But of course that was not to be. 

When no one answered the apartment door, she made quick work of picking the lock and let herself inside. She found Alan laying on the floor in the bathroom, shivering and weak, racked with coughs. At first she suspected tuberculosis, but after only a few minutes she learned that wasn’t the case. 

In whispers between coughing fits, Alan told her the story of how his lover had been found out five days prior and had been murdered for what was considered an indecent relationship. Alan himself had only begun to suspect something was amiss when Joseph did not turn up at the apartment as planned. A few careful inquiries yielded nothing, but when Alan started to fall ill, he feared the worse, only to have it confirmed when he was contacted by a close friend of Joseph’s. 

He was devastated by the loss of his soulmate and his health was rapidly failing. His only hope was to find an unbonded that would commit to him. Looking at the state of her friend, Peggy knew there wasn’t enough time to find one and so she did what she knew how to do best. She couldn’t be certain it would work, given the uncertainty of her own bond, but in the end, she saved the world by saving one important man.

 

Every day Thor sits at Steve's side. Cooking him meals, helping around the apartment. Every day he listens, to anything Steve wishes to tell him. Some days Steve tells endless stories of his youth with his best friend Bucky and Thor can't help but wish we had gotten to know this Steve under different circumstances. 

Some days Steve speaks very little and so Thor tells stories of his time growing up with his beloved brother Loki. As the days pass and Steve grows weaker Thor speaks to him again about his options. 

“There is time Steven. We can find an unbonded. If you would allow it, I can start searching today. You do not have to continue to waste away in this manner.” 

Steve doesn't answer. He stopped responding to this particular request days ago. He knows finding an unbonded to help him is possible. But he thinks he is more afraid of being tied and indebted in such a way to a stranger than he is of dying.

 

Steve is sitting on the couch with a blanket wrapped around him. He expected Thor to come by that morning as he always does. But so far there has been no sign of the Asgardian. Steve tells himself not to worry, Thor can take care of himself and spending every day by a dying man's side cannot be easy. 

He knows he should get up and eat but the idea of being on his feet long enough to cook something just doesn't sound possible. He does however get up and shuffle to the door when there is a knock on it. 

“Hey man. Can I come in?” 

Steve blinks in surprise before stepping back out of the way to allow Sam in. He doesn't fail to notice the look of alarm on Sam's face when he looks Steve over. 

“The team got roughed up a little last night taking down some giant robot or something.”

“They're fine,” he adds hastily at Steve's concerned look . “But Thor asked me to stop by while he gets checked out by SHIELD’S doctor's. 

Steve nods and wanders back over to the couch lowering himself down gingerly. 

“Since I'm here, you feel up to eating anything? I can order in some food or make something here if you want.” 

Steve isn't terribly hungry but he knows he should eat something. And he doesn’t want to disappoint Thor after everything he has done for him.

“Okay.” 

“What sounds good?” Sam walks into the kitchen and looks through the refrigerator and cupboards. “Lotta soups in here man. That what Thor's been feeding you?” he calls looking back over his shoulder at Steve. 

“Mostly, yeah.” 

Sam turns back to the cupboard, “I think I have my Mama's famous tomato soup recipe on my phone somewhere. I can run to the store real quick and get what I need to make it?” 

When Steve doesn't answer Sam turns around again to see that he has turned on the TV and is watching news footage of the fight between The Avengers and the giant robot. It's not good. They aren't coordinated. Tony isn't using each of them to their potential. 

It takes time to become a good leader, they just haven’t had time for Tony to learn how to be one. Steve wants to be back out there with them. Not so he can fight, but so he can protect. The public, his team, his friends. Instead he sits in his apartment waiting to die. 

“So, soup?” Sam prods. 

“Yeah soup sounds good.”  


Thor comes back the next day slipping into his routine as though he never missed a day. Steve doesn’t bring up the fight with the robot.

 

When Steve grows too weak to leave the bed for any length of time Thor brings him food into his small bedroom and helps him to and from the bathroom. When the fever and coughing starts, Thor is torn between allowing Steve to die as he wishes and just finding an unbonded without his permission. 

The decision is taken from his hands when Steve speaks softly after a hard coughing spell. The tissue he was using is spotted in blood and the blonde has begun to shake with chills. 

“I don't want to die. I thought I was ready, but I'm not. I'm scared Thor.” 

The relief Thor feels is overshadowed by a new sense of urgency. There isn’t much time and he knows he has to find a suitable unbonded for his friend. He knows Steve well enough that once the commitment is made between the two, Steve will abide by it for the rest of his days. 

“If you approve, I will call Sam Wilson to stay with you for tonight and will be back tomorrow to begin my search.” 

He lays his hand on Steve’s arm, “this will work, I will find someone.”

 

Thor is determined to save his friend, what he needs is more time. And so he finds himself sneaking into Asgard’s lower prison to find the one person who he is sure can give him that. 

In the furthest corner of the dungeon, well away from any of the other cells, the lone prisoner doesn’t look up from the book he is reading, not even when Thor stops directly in front of the shimmering barrier between them.

“I need your help.”

Now he looks up, green eyes sparkling, a wicked grin on his face.

“You must be desperate indeed to come to me.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couple of quick notes:
> 
> 1\. Alan Turing was a real person and he was responsibe for cracking the enigma. In this fic, he is the man Peggy goes on to marry. 
> 
> 2\. Loki!
> 
> 3\. Wisdom tooth extraction went well. Now I just have a remarkable resemblance to a gluttonous chipmunk.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The flash back portion of this chapter takes place during the first Thor movie.

 

Chapter 5

 

Jotunheim

Around him Loki can see Thor and his friends fighting the frost giants. They had been given the chance to escape back home, but of course that would not do for battle hungry Thor. In his distraction Loki almost misses the frost giant that lunges for him, grabbing him by the arm.

_NO! No no no no. Not possible. This is not possible!_

The shock and disgust when Loki looks at where the frost giant is holding his arm is immediately outweighed by the burning sensation over his heart. Knowing exactly what it is, he teleports them both away before anyone can see. 

Wrenching his arm free, Loki uses his magic to remove his chest plate and then pulls a blade and slices through his tunic. There he can see the writing inscribed in the tissue of his chest. The language is not one he can read, but that is not his concern, he already knows it bears the name of the man standing in front of him. 

Taking the knife, Loki slices through the writing, possibly a little deeper than necessary in his haste, and lets the blood flow. 

He thrusts the now bloody knife out to the frost giant, “do it!”

“Gladly,” the man growls, snatching the blade up and slicing into his own chest directly over the name Loki Laufeyson. 

Loki can feel it the moment the bond is broken with his soulmate. The relief is so great that he almost doesn’t notice his own blade being swung at his head. Ducking down and pulling a second blade, Loki thrusts it in to the frost giants heart, killing him instantly. 

He takes a moment to look at his name on the blue flesh. _Laufeyson?_ And then he drags the knife up and through the name, completely destroying any trace of it. With a wave of his hand he conceals the mark on his own chest, restores his armor and then teleports back.

 

Asgard

The destroyer has failed and Heimdall brings Thor back over the bifrost before Loki can turn it on Jotunheim. He tries though. He fights with all the fire and passion that a thousand years of failure can bring. He fights with the pain of lies borne upon him by those he trusted. He fights with the will to destroy every last tie to his past, every last drop of forsaken blood in his veins and every ounce of shame for the name upon his chest. 

And still it is not enough. The enhanced weight of Mjolnir upon his chest would be enough to crush another man, a weaker man. And Loki considers releasing his magic to allow it to do just that. But then Odin is there, Gungnir in hand and Loki allows himself to be led into the deepest corners of the dungeon to waste away until the end of time.

 

“Why should I help you?” Loki asks, actually curious as to why Thor would want to take him to Midguard. 

“Because I ask it of you brother.” 

“We are not brothers!” Loki hisses at him.

Thor keeps his composure in the face of Loki’s rage. “We were once and I would welcome that again.”

Loki waves a hand dismissively, not interested in fairy tales of reconciliation. “And what would I get out of helping you?”

“I would speak favorably to the All Father of your help-“ Thor begins before being cut off by another wave of Loki’s hand.

“I care not for the All Father’s opinion nor for your sentiment.”

Thor’s face falls, certain he has failed, but before he can turn away, Loki speaks again.

“When are we to leave?”

“I will seek an audience with the All Father. As soon as he grants his permission, we will leave,” Thor responds excitedly. 

“No.” Loki steps through the barrier meant to keep him in his cell and Thor gapes at him. “Surely you did not think such a thing could hold me?”

“Loki-“

Grabbing Thor by the arm, Loki grins and says, “I think we should go now.”

He teleports them through the hidden passageways that only he knows to Midguard before the blonde haired god can say anything else. He will at least go see what it is Thor needs his help with. And why not, he was bored and would hate to pass up the opportunity for a little mischief. 

Thor explains what he needs Loki to do while they travel the last distance to Steve’s apartment. It seems easy enough and Loki is certain he will find ample opportunity to escape once he has completed his task. Doing as Thor asks will make the blonde happy and thereby grant himself more time before anyone comes looking for him when he does escape.

 

“Wait here,” Thor tells Loki as he enters the apartment, leaving him in the hallway. 

He finds Sam inside sitting on the couch. “How is he today?”

“Sleeping now. Didn’t eat much though. And I can’t get his fever to come down.”

“I thank you for your help Sam.”

Sam can hear the silent request for him to leave. He knows Thor went to get someone who may be able to help Steve and has to assume he has brought them back. 

“Anytime man.” Sam responds as he gets up. “Call me if you need me. I’ll be here.”

Walking out into the hallway, he passes a man wearing decidedly non earth clothes based on the leather, armor and general design and has to assume this is who Thor went to get. He nods at the dark haired man and then leaves. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the sake of this fic, Loki did not fall from the bifrost and it was not destroyed. Odin woke and sentenced Loki to prison for his role in letting the frost giants into Asgard, sending the Destroyer to earth, and for attempting to destroy Jotunheim, even though he was stopped before he could turn the bifrost on it. He has been sitting in prison for years. 
> 
> The Avengers came together over something other than the Chitauri attack on Earth. Current day is set after the time Steve meets Sam Wilson, but before Winter Soldier. And I'm just pulling people and using them as I want. Because I can. 
> 
> Hopefully that makes sense. The main thing is that Loki never fell off the bifrost.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Loki finally meet!

 

Chapter 6

 

“Steven.” Thor gently touches Steve’s arm trying to wake him. He can feel the heat from his skin through the light shirt he is wearing. He is covered in a sheen of sweat and his hair is damp and sticking to his forehead. 

He doesn’t react other than to mumble and pull his arm slightly away. Thor touches his arm again and this time Steve opens his eyes, “s’hot…” 

“Steven I have brought someone who can help you.” Thor looks over his shoulder towards his brother and Steve follows his gaze. He nods slightly and Loki can just see the way his throat bobs as he swallows.

“Leave us,” he tells Thor.

“I will go out for supplies for several days. Is there anything specific you require?”

Loki is already looking Steve over, not touching him, just observing. “Get me some paper and I shall make you a list.”

Once Thor is gone, Loki uses his magic to change his clothes into a green cotton tunic and black leggings. He touches Steve’s skin, causing him to stir slightly and sends a pulse of magic across his over heated body, instantly bringing his temperature down to a more comfortable level. 

He also transfers just a touch of his own energy, not enough for him to notice the loss, but enough to increase Steve’s stamina when he wakes. If only for a short while. Satisfied that Steve will sleep more easily, Loki sets out to retrieve items he will need from within the apartment.

 

Thor returns laden with bags full of food and the items Loki specifically asked for. Once everything has been put away and a satisfactory work station has been set up on the desk in Steve’s room, Thor pulls Loki into an embrace.

“Thank you brother.” Although Loki stiffens, he does not push Thor away, nor does he chastise the blonde for calling him brother.

Releasing him, Thor takes a last look at Steve, “how long do you think you can sustain him?”

Loki does some quick calculations in his head. “Seven days. Maybe ten. He is not fully mortal and given how long he has already lasted, longer is possible, but I cannot be certain.”

Thor nods his head and claps his hand on Loki’s forearm. “I will be back as soon as I find a suitable unbonded.”

Before walking out the door Thor takes one last look back, Loki has sat upon the side of the bed and has his fingers pressed to Steve’s neck feeling his pulse.

“Steven Rogers is a good man Loki.”

The dark haired god does not look up, “then why trust me with his care?”

“Because I do,” Thor says simply as he walks out the door, leaving Loki to look after him with a frown.

 

Loki lets Steve sleep for a little longer while he draws a bath. Once it is ready, he gently wakes the blonde. “Steven.” He gives a slight shake to Steve’s arm. “I need you to wake up.”

Steve blinks his eyes open and looks at Loki, “Thor?” he asks.

“He has left for now. I’m afraid it is just you and I.” He tries to keep his voice soft, depreciating, wanting to ease Steve’s very obvious nerves. 

Taking Steve by the arm he starts to pull him up to a sitting position. “Come, sit up.”

Once he is sitting, Loki grasps the edge of his T-shirt and begins to lift it.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Steve asks as he rests his hand on Loki’s.

“Helping you take your shirt off.”

“Now?” It comes out high pitched and Steve’s cheeks pink a little in embarrassment. 

“Well yes. Now would be a good time.”

“Oh.” Steve lets go of his hand and shifts slightly. “I thought maybe we would talk first. You know?”

Loki draws his eyebrows together. “What did you wish to talk about?”

“I’d like to get to know you, at least a little. Before….” He trails off, unable to meet Loki’s gaze any longer. “Maybe at least know your name.”

With a growing sense of unease, Loki asks, “before what?”

“Before you, uh, before we….”

“Exactly why do you think I am here?”

Steve’s face is positively red now and Loki is slightly concerned that his fever has returned suddenly. “Thor said he was going to find an unbonded.”

He would laugh at the outrageousness of the notion, except for the weird feeling in his chest. “I am here to care for you while Thor searches. He seemed quite set on finding an unbonded worthy of you.” The weird feeling is only made worse by a sense of disappointment that he cannot explain. 

“Oh.” 

That’s it. That’s all he says. _Oh_. 

There is an awkward pause that hangs between them until Loki cannot stand it anymore. “I have drawn a bath.” 

He reaches for Steve’s shirt again and this time Steve doesn’t stop him from pulling it over his head. Trying to avert his eyes from Steve’s mark, Loki helps him to his feet and holds him steady as they make their way into the attached bath room. Not making eye contact, Loki helps Steve undress the rest of the way and step into the warm water. 

Once the blonde is settled, he begins to add oils and herbs to the bath before touching his slightly glowing hand to the water, causing Steve’s eyes to open comically wide as he watches the expanding glowing ripples. 

“I see Thor was remiss in telling you not only my name, but also that I am a mage.”

Loki stands and steps back, “You are to remain in the water for twenty minutes. You may feel the urge to sleep. You may do so, however, I would suggest you try not to drown. I cannot imagine Thor would be happy with me if you did.” 

His tone is so even, Steve can’t tell if he is joking or not. 

“I will bring in some clean clothes and make something for you to eat.”

And then he is gone. And Steve realizes a moment too late that he still doesn’t know the man’s name.

 

_7\. For an unbonded to commit, it must be acknowledged by both parties and then consummated. The final step is blood letting of their existing marks._

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve starts to look for his unbonded.

 

Chapter 7

 

“Hey.”

Loki turns towards the voice behind him, “Steven.” He nods in the man’s direction and goes back to stirring the pot on the stove.

Walking closer to see what Loki is cooking the blonde says, “you can call me Steve. Only Thor calls me Steven and I can’t seem to get him to stop.”

“Ah well, _Steve_ , that seems to be a common theme with him. He calls me brother and I can’t seem to get him to stop doing that either. You however may call me-”

“Loki,” Steve cuts him off.

The gods shoulders hunch up and his entire body tenses. “Then he has told you about me.”

When he turns, he is not expecting the wide smile on Steve’s face. “A little. Stories from when you were kids.”

Loki turns back to the stove and doesn’t respond, so Steve asks, “what are you making?”

“A stew. Heartier than what you have been eating, but not so much as to upset your stomach. We must have you as strong as possible for when Thor returns, if you are to complete the commitment…..satisfactorily.” There is a slight quirk to the side of Loki’s mouth when he says this and Steve can feel his face burn.

“Right…. So speaking of that,” this time Loki’s mouth turns up into a grin. “Not that! I meant, speaking of getting stronger, not the commitment….” Steve rubs a hand over his eyes and sighs, “what was in that bath? I feel better than I have in weeks.”

“A little eye of newt, toe of frog….” Loki looks over at Steve and has to suppress a laugh at the look of disgust on Steve’s face. “If you think that’s bad, you should see what’s in the stew.”

Steve leans forward to peer over the edge of the pot and Loki snorts out a laugh. “Its beef, with some vegetables and potato’s.”

“And the bath?” Steve asks with obvious relief.

Loki pulls a couple of bowls out from a cupboard and begins to fill them with the stew, “nothing fancy. Some lavender, mint tea oil, a mixture of my own blend of herbs found commonly on Midgard and Asgard both. I find the combination to be relaxing and nice for your skin. And a little,” he waves a glowing hand vaguely, “to transfer some of my energy to you.”

Steve accepts the bowl he is handed and furrows his eyebrows, “and that doesn’t harm you?” He repeats the hand movement to indicate he means the magic.

“Not at all. Now eat. The energy I give you will have to be replenished often and the effects will diminish each time. This is only a temporary measure until Thor finds your unbonded.”

“Will I have to be in the bath each time?”

Loki grins before taking a mouthful of his own stew. “No. That was just because you smelled.”

 

The problem with finding an unbonded is that Thor has no idea where to start looking and so he seeks out advice from Sam.

“There are websites, databases…..” Sam opens his laptop and sets it on the coffee table so they can both see the screen. “Essentially dating sites set up for the unbonded. We’ll have to screen the candidates pretty heavily though. Sometimes they actually trade themselves to someone in need of their commitment and they receive something in exchange. Usually money.”

Thor frowns, “that doesn’t seem right.”

“Maybe, but it hasn’t been made illegal yet. There is a huge underground illegal trade of the unbonded too. Where they are taken and sold against their will. Its terrible.”

The look on Thor's face is grim when he responds, “then where do we start?”

Sam pulls up a website. “This one has the best reputation for being above board. We can put in a wide search and start narrowing it down. Once we have a manageable list, we can have Steve look it over and pick out a few. Then we’ll run background checks and set up interviews.”

“We do not have a lot of time. My brother said seven days, maybe longer.”

“Then we better get started. And I think we should bring in Tony for the background checks and Natasha on the interviews. This is Steve we’re talking about, so we gotta get this right.”

 

The next day Thor shows up with a stack of pictures and biographies for dozens of women. While Steve starts to look through them, Thor explains how he and Sam intend too use Tony and Natasha to help screen candidates.

Steve isn’t happy with it, but he knows he doesn’t have the time or resources to do this on his own. He also knows he is extremely lucky to even have this chance. Most people, if they decide to use an unbonded, have to choose someone within hours, while they are still grieving and facing their own death.

“There are so many here, I don’t know where to start,” Steve remarks as he flips through the pages.

He also feels awkward looking them over with Thor standing expectantly over his shoulder. Loki must sense it because he speaks up.

“Thor, there are a few items I failed to have you procure yesterday. If I make you another list, can you go out and get them?”

Thor looks at Steve doubtfully, “I need to get Steve’s selections back to Sam and Tony, can it not wait?”

Loki stands from where he had been sitting and guides Thor to the kitchen by his arm. “Standing over him is not going to speed this process up. Go to the store and I will ensure he has his selections ready by the time you return.”

That seems to appease the blonde god and he takes the hastily scrawled list from Loki’s hand and leaves. With Thor gone, Loki sits next to Steve on the couch. As Steve looks at each paper he sets it on the table in front of them.

“Are there any that appeal to you?”

Steve shrugs, “they’re all pretty. I guess. But its impossible to really know someone from just this little bit of information.”

“True,” Loki concedes, “however, I believe you may be looking at this wrong. You are not choosing a candidate, you are simply eliminating the ones you are not interested in pursuing.”

Gathering up all of the pages again, Steve starts with the one on the top, “good point. I’d like your opinion though.” He holds up the first one and reads her information out loud. “What do you think?”

They have gone through the stack three times and have begun to narrow them down when Loki asks, “I have noticed that these are all women. Is that your preference?”

“Uh… you know, I uh…. I mean, I don’t think…..” Steve rubs his hand over his face as his cheeks flush pink again. “Ah hell….”

“Its okay Steve. If none of these suit, I’m sure we can ask Thor to include some men for you to look over.”

They proceed through the pictures one more time and when Thor returns, Steve hands over a much smaller stack of twenty five photos, along with a request for some images of men to be sent back via email for him to look over later that night.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve is a hopeless romantic.

 

Chapter 8

 

Steve chooses five men from the group Sam sent over that night. Loki couldn’t help but notice a pattern in Steve’s preferences in both the men and woman. Dark hair, slim build, high intelligence. There are very few exceptions and those were the ones that Loki suggested be included. 

It takes two days, but when Tony’s back ground checks start coming back, some are eliminated immediately and the rest are sent back to Steve to narrow the list again.

The process is tedious and wears on Steve, making him short tempered or weepy in turns. Through everything Loki is there to help and Steve hopes that when this is all over, they can be friends because he feels a connection to Loki and would hate to lose it.

 

“We’re going to set up interviews for the last ten candidates,” Sam tells him over the phone on the fourth day. “None of them know your identity yet and we want to keep it that way for now so after Natasha is done with them, we will set you up for computer interviews.”

“Won’t they be able to see me?” Steve usually wore his helm out on missions, but there are plenty of images of him from before he went into the ice, so he tends to be recognized fairly often when he goes out. Or at least he did, before he got sick.

“Actually, I had a thought about that. I think we should have Loki do the actual interviews. No one knows who he is and you can watch the entire thing without anyone knowing who you are.”

Steve’s eyes immediately shift over to his bedroom door where Loki is in the bathroom taking a shower. 

“I’ll ask him. But go ahead and set them up. If he doesn’t want to do it, we’ll figure something else out. Or I’ll do them myself. Either way.”

“You got it.” 

Steve ends the call and walks over to his bedroom. The door is slightly open and he can hear that the shower is off, so he knocks and opens the door. 

“Hey,” he calls out to announce himself. 

It’s only then that he realizes that the bathroom door is also open and that Loki is standing there with only a towel wrapped around his hips. He is facing away, looking in the mirror, but when he hears Steve, he turns around and anything else that Steve may have been about to say flies right out of his head as he takes in Loki’s lean muscular form. 

Steve runs his eyes over Loki’s body, eyes landing on his chest. His bare, unmarked chest. 

Loki doesn’t say anything, just quickly waves his hand, hastily conjuring on a shirt and leggings.

 

“Your Peggy sounds like she was something very special.”

Steve smiles wistfully, “yeah, she was something else.”

He falls silent for a few minutes before speaking again. He’s tired, worn down from a restless night full of too much coughing and too little sleep.

Loki had been at his side within seconds, doing something with his magic to soothe him and ease him in to sleep. Steve doesn’t want to think about the condition he would be in without Loki or about how the continued transfer of his energy to Steve may be affecting the god. 

“Its just not fair. Its not like I wanted to have this great love affair. I just wanted to have a connection with someone and be in love and have them love me in return. And that was supposed to be her. I mean, isn’t that what soul mates are for?” 

Loki doesn’t say anything. This is something Steve needs to work through and he understands that.

“Sorry, I know this must sound like such nonsense. Like I expected this great romance.”

“Not at all. I would never consider the desire to love and be loved in return to be nonsense. And I think you will find that much of the universe is enamored with the idea of a great romance. Otherwise why would the marks exist? And if a bond can be broken so easily, why are they not more often? Because deep down, most people are truly looking for that one all encompassing love.”

“And what happens when its gone? Was that my only chance? Because this,” Steve waves his hand at the laptop on the coffee table, “this is more like a business transaction.”

“Not necessarily. I think it is quite possible to love someone a great deal, no matter what is writ upon your chest.” 

Steve knows he should let the topic drop. But he can’t help himself. 

“Do you think its possible that I’ll find the second great love of my life?”

Loki opens his mouth to respond, then closes it again. His hand drifts up to his chest and he presses his fingers over his heart. 

“I think that…. I think that sometimes……” he stops and clears his throat, but nothing else comes out.

Steve’s eyes flick to Loki’s chest. “I’m sure you’ll find your soul mate soon,” he says before he can stop himself. 

There is a flash of something across Loki’s features that Steve can't quite catch, but he doesn’t respond to what Steve has said. Instead, he pulls the laptop closer, “lets make a list of what questions you want me to ask.” 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve chooses his unbonded.

 

Chapter 9

 

Loki opens the door after the third knock to find Sam Wilson standing there. 

“Where’s Steve,” he asks, eyes searching the living room behind the god.

“He is sleeping,” Loki replies as he steps out of the way for Sam to enter.

“Kind of early in the day for a nap isn’t it?”

His tone is light, but Loki can hear the concern in his words. 

“This process is taking an emotional toll on him and it is adversely affecting his health. He had an appreciable decline during the night. More than I can completely compensate for. I fear that even with my help, he won’t last more than another couple of days.”

Sam follows Loki over to the couch and grabs Steve’s laptop. “Then it’s a good thing I’m here. I have the interviews all set up for tomorrow morning. There are five. Spaced an hour apart. We’d like Steve to give us his top three choices in order of preference by tomorrow evening.”

“And then what?”

“Ideally we would set up a face to face meeting, let them get to know each other, even if its just lunch, but it sounds like we don’t have that kind of time.”

Loki looks towards the bedroom where Steve is sleeping and frowns. “No, we don’t.”

“Then let me show you how to work the program for the interviews.”

 

The first interview is a disaster. Loki had trouble getting the program to work properly and the woman became irritated and snapish quickly. Once he got it working, Loki was only four questions in when Steve touched his arm and shook his head, mouthing the word ‘no’ at him. 

The second one was better. Not great, but the young man was cheerful and polite, so that was good. His name was Jeremey and he works as an accountant in California. At the end, his information was set aside as a possibility. 

The third man, Richard, was nice. He answered all the questions thoroughly and candidly. He seemed like a good fit until Loki ended the video call and Steve took the paper out of Loki’s hand and dropped it in the reject stack with the first girl. 

“What was wrong with him? I liked him,” Loki asks with a raised eyebrow.

Steve’s cheeks pink a little when he says, “he was too flirty.”

“Naturally. He is trying to make a good impression.”

“Well then he shouldn’t be flirting with _you_.”

Loki just blinks and picks up the next interview.

Her name is Vanessa. A student, pursuing her Masters Degree in engineering. She put herself through school by serving in the military. The interview goes well and Loki moves on to the last one.

“That’s it,” Loki announces as he closes the lap top. He looks over at Steve and can tell he is tired and emotionally drained. He immediately reaches out and sends a quick pulse of energy to Steve. “I need you to stay with me long enough to rank these so I can send them over to Sam.”

Steve reaches out and picks up the three papers in the keep pile. Flipping through them, he puts them in order and then hands them back to Loki before getting up and walking in to the bed room. 

Loki doesn’t miss the way Steve’s movements are slow or the way he reaches out to steady himself on the door frame on the way into his room. Or the way Steve closes the door behind himself. He calls Sam and gives him Steve’s choices and then goes to check on him.

He finds Steve laying on the bed, shivering, eyes red and watery. Sitting down next to him, Loki reaches out a hand and feels his forehead, confirming his suspicion that Steve’s fever has come back. 

“I want you to rest for the remainder of the night. I’ll bring you in something to eat and then I can help you sleep if that’s okay.”

Steve squeezes his eyes shut and curls in on himself.

“Tomorrow this will all be over and you will have your life back. Just one more day.” Loki tries to soothe him, reaching out and running his fingers through his blonde hair. He can’t tell if it is helping or not, but he tries.

After several minutes he gets up from the bed, “I’m going too go get something for you to eat. I’ll be right back.”

Steve’s voice is soft, tentative, “can you stay? Just stay with me? Please?”

And what can Loki say? How can he deny Steve? He can’t. “Of course.”

The blonde squeezes his eyes shut tight again and a small sob escapes his lips as Loki walks around to the other side of the bed and sits with his back against the head board. Immediately Steve shifts his body closer until he is pressed up against Loki’s side and the god has to put his arm around him in order to get comfortable. 

He brushes blonde hair away from blue eyes and pulls Steve closer. Sending another pulse of magic between them. 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Try not to hate Steve too much for this. Or me for that matter. He is dying after all.

 

Chapter 10

 

Loki wakes up early and finds Steve still pressed up tight against his body. He doesn’t feel quite so feverish and that’s a relief. 

Gently he extracts himself from Steve’s grip and heads out into the kitchen to make breakfast. When he comes back in the room, carrying a tray of food, he finds Steve sitting up in bed looking at something small in his hand.

Setting the tray down on the bedside table, Loki gestures to the item in Steve’s hand. “What do you have there?”

Steve smiles weakly up at him and turns the item so Loki can see it is a compass with a picture of a brunette inset into the top half. 

“This is Peggy.”

“May I?” Loki asks, holding his hand out.

Steve hands the compass over without hesitation.

“She is quite lovely.”

Steve only hums and takes the compass back when Loki offers it.

“Eat and I shall draw you a bath.”

“Lavender again?” Steve asks as he picks up the tray.

“Mostly green tea, with a few other things. And of course…,” he makes a gesture with his hand to indicate his magic.

Lifting his hand up and repeating the gesture, Steve gives a small smile, “yes of course.”

 

“Stop fidgeting,” Loki admonishes. 

“I can’t help it. I’m nervous.” In reality he feels like he might vomit or pass out, or both, at any moment. 

Loki reaches up and smoothes Steve’s hair, “you’ll be fine, just remember-“ he stops when he hears the apartment door open and close. “Thor is back.” He reaches his now glowing hand out and takes Steve’s. 

“One last time,” he says as he transfers energy between them. He gives much more than he usually does, despite having already given a substantial amount during Steve’s bath, knowing that he will need it and that this will be the last time. 

When he lets go, he immediately stands and walks out, leaving Steve sitting on the bed, staring at his hand. 

And there she is.

Loki has to admit, she is pretty, Steve’s unbonded. Wearing a simple summer dress with sandals. Her hair is up off her neck and she has on light make up. She looks very much like someone Steve would want to be with. 

Loki hates her instantly, now that he has seen her in person.

Making himself busy in the kitchen, Loki tries not to watch as Thor leads her to Steve’s bedroom door and taps lightly. Out of the corner of his eye, Loki can just see Steve open it and the woman, Vanessa, Loki recalls, step inside and close the door.

He pulls items from the refrigerator and cupboards and starts making the stew he made his first night there. He knows Steve liked it and he will want something hearty to replenish his energy after…… 

The methodical movement of the knife through vegetables is calming and Loki lets himself be lulled into the rhythm. Soon, he has everything prepped and in the pot on the stove. 

Taking a deep breath, Loki places both hands on the counter and closes his eyes. This is what he came here for. His job is done, he just needs to find the opportune time to escape before Thor tries to drag him back to Asgard and his cell. 

He startles when Thor speaks from directly beside him. “Thank you brother. You have done a great thing here. I shall tell the All-Father and I’m sure he will consider your deeds and reduce your sentence.”

Loki’s shoulders hunch up, “you will do no such thing,” he hisses. 

Thor takes a deep breath and places a hand on Loki’s arm, turning the slimmer man so they are facing one another, “Loki, are you well?”

Loki blinks at him, “what? Of course I’m well.” His eyes drift over to the door to Steve’s room and he looks away quickly. “I am merely tired from sharing so much of my energy.”

Its an excuse, although not untrue. Mostly, he just wants to leave.

There is silence for several moments and Loki hates it, afraid that he may hear something from beyond that cursed door. 

Thor watches his brother and then seems to come to a decision. “I will not return you to Asgard.”

“I do not understand. You are bound to take me back Odinson.”

“Loki, I think you have-“ he stops when the bedroom door opens and Vanessa steps out.

Her hair is now down across her back, she has her shoes in her hand and when she turns to pull the door closed behind herself, Loki notices the zipper on the back of her dress is not fully zipped. “You're Loki right?” She asks, looking directly at the dark haired god.

He nods in response, “yes.”

“He’s asking for you.”

Loki frowns and looks past her towards the door. A gentle push from Thor starts his feet moving. As he passes by Vanessa, he can see the way her lips are pink and slightly kiss swollen and he hates her even more.

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

Chapter 11

 

Loki does not want to enter that room. Does not want to see Steve. But he knows he has to before Thor will let him leave in peace. Pushing the door open, he can see Steve sitting on the bed, wearing one of those white under shirts that he favors, with a blanket drawn up to his waist. On the bed side table he can see the blade used for blood letting. 

“I understand it is bad form to push your unbonded out of bed after committing,” he tries to joke. It doesn’t work and Loki spends the next several moments looking everywhere but at Steve.

“I couldn’t do it.”

That gets Loki’s attention. “What do you mean you couldn’t?….Oh!… I can give you something for that. You have been weakened for so long, it is not uncommon in this situation. I should have thought of that before. My apologies.” 

He turns back to the door, intent on forcing himself to go to the kitchen and mix up an elixir for Steve, but he is stopped with Steve’s next words. 

“No. I mean, I didn’t want to.”

And that doesn’t make sense. “Steve. She is perfect for you.” The words taste like ash in his mouth. “And you have so little time left. I fear that I will not be able to sustain you for more than another day or two at most.”

“I know.”

Steve pauses and Loki can see he is gathering his thoughts, working himself up to something.

“I’m just struggling with the fact that the person I want to be committed to isn’t unbonded and so I can’t be with him.”

Loki doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to when Steve continues.

“Vanessa seems really nice and maybe if I had the time to get to know her, but I don’t feel a connection to her.” 

He had been looking down, picking at the blanket on his lap, but now he looks up. 

“And this entire time, there’s been this great guy taking care of me, and I have had a little time to get to know him and dammit, if he was unbonded….” He trails off and goes back to looking at the blanket. 

Loki sits at the edge of the bed next to Steve. His eyes flit over to the knife on the table and then to Steve’s chest.

“I am sorry. Thor discovered his soul mate when we were very young. Her name is Sif. She is a warrior on Asgard and will make a great wife for him, when he finally decides to marry.”

“What? No! Not Thor.” Steve reaches his hand out and takes Loki’s in his own. “I meant you. I would have wanted it to be you.”

Loki’s heart stops for a moment and he struggles to draw in a breath. Struggles with what he wants versus what he knows he can have.

“Steve-“

“Look, I know it doesn’t really matter. I just wanted to tell you.”

“Steve, I-“

“I don’t really know what to do now. But I couldn’t go through with it without telling you the truth.”

And that’s just it. The truth. Loki knows that if Steve can make himself admit this truth then he owes him one in return, even if it cannot change things. 

“Steve-” 

The blonde finally lifts his head and watches as Loki uses his magic to vanish his shirt and with another small gesture, reveals his mark. 

Steve raises a hand and tentatively runs his finger tips over the scar running through the writing on his chest. 

“You’re unbonded,” he breathes.

He looks up into Loki’s eyes, “why didn’t you say anything? This entire time, you never said anything.”

He stops and Loki can tell he is thinking about something. “I saw you, saw your chest. You hid your mark. Were you afraid I would push you into committing to me?”

Loki takes Steve’s hand and pulls it away from his mark. “I didn’t say anything because no one else knows.”

“Then why tell me now?”

When Loki doesn’t answer, Steve asks again, “why tell me now?” 

“Because you deserve to know that I would have offered my commitment to save you! But I am not good enough, not worthy of being your unbonded, of being anyone’s unbonded. And you have found someone that is.” Loki practically spits the words out and clamps his mouth shut to stop from humiliating himself any further. 

“Not worthy? What's that supposed to mean?”

“Your friends have gone out of their way to find someone worthy of you. Good enough for you. I am neither of those things.”

“How can you say that? Don't I get to choose who I think is worthy of me or not?”

“You can't choose when you don't know what I have done!”

“Then tell me!” Steve pleads. 

Loki doesn't say anything. Just glares at a spot on the wall over Steve's head. 

“Just tell me what you think is so bad that I wouldn't choose to be with you.” 

Loki jerks to his feet and walks several steps away. Keeping his back to Steve he finally answers. “I killed my soul mate.” 

What ever Steve was expecting, it wasn't that. “What?”

“I killed my soul mate,” Loki repeats and there is an undertone of anger in his voice. “Thor, his friends and I, went to Jotunheim bent on seeking retribution for a slight against Asgards throne.”

“Jotunheim?” Steve questions.

“The realm of the Frost Giants.”

It is painful and terrible as Loki tells Steve of his greatest shame, tells him exactly why he can never be his unbonded. When he is done talking, both men sit in silence, Loki afraid of what Steve will say and Steve as he processes everything he has learned. 

Finally, after what seems like forever, but is only a matter of minutes, Steve speaks.

“What happened with your soul mate, that sounds an awful lot like self defense.”

Loki opens his mouth to argue and Steve cuts him off. “He tried to kill you with your own knife. You said so yourself. Its absolutely horrible that you ended up in that situation and I can’t say that I understand the way you were raised to feel about your people.” 

Loki flinches, but says nothing.

“But, if I am being put in a situation where I have to choose someone to try to love, why can't I choose someone that I want to love? And I don't know….. I mean maybe it won't work out that way. Maybe you aren't meant to be the next love of my life, but maybe you are. All I know is, if I have to try with someone, I would sure as hell like to try with you.”

Steve takes his hand and runs his finger tips over Loki’s mark again before leaning in and gently placing a kiss on his lips, “If you offered your commitment to me, I would accept.”

“And that is why I didn’t tell you."

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Please look at the updated tags before reading!

 

Chapter 12

 

“So…..” Thor looks at Vanessa and smiles awkwardly, trying not to look at the door to Steve’s room. His eyes scan the kitchen and land of the pot on the stove. “Loki made food, if you are hungry… after…. Uh…..”

“That’s very thoughtful of him,” she responds quietly, cutting Thor off from finishing that sentence. 

This time Thor’s smile is a little more genuine. “Yes, he has been quite attentive to Steven’s care.”

Vanessa purses her lips together and then sighs, “it would seem so.”

Thor picks up a large spoon from beside the stove top, “would you like some?” He uses the spoon to point at the pot.

“Actually, I think I would like to go home, if that is not too much trouble.”

“Oh, of course. I will let Steven know and you can say your goodbyes.”

“That’s not necessary. We kinda already did. Just, um, remind him, later, that I’m here for him, if he needs me.”

 

Steve has been sitting on the bed quietly listening to the sound of his own breathing. He pulls air in to his lungs, holds it and then slowly lets it out. He does this over and over until his heart no longer feels as though it will burst from his chest.

“What if….what if….you….uh…..what if…“ he stops, unsure of what he wants to say and lets out a small sob and swipes at his wet eyes, “please…”

He doesn’t get any further when Loki surges forward and places his hand on the side of Steve’s face, pulling him in to press a kiss to his lips. When he pulls back, he only does so to rest his forehead against Steve’s.

“I offer myself to you, my commitment, my bond.”

Steve’s breath hitches and he squeezes his eyes shut as he raises his hand to thread his fingers through Loki’s hair. 

“I accept,” he whispers, voice hoarse with emotion.

The god kisses him again, fingers working under the hem of Steve’s shirt. Unlike their first meeting, Steve doesn’t try to stop him. This time he helps pull the shirt over his head, before going right back to kissing Loki. And when he opens his mouth in invitation, Loki reciprocates, tentatively deepening the kiss. 

Hand shaking, Steve glides his palm up over Loki’s thigh and to the waist band of his pants. He tries to pull at the laces on the front, but gives up with a huff and frustrated laugh. 

Loki lifts a hand and with a flick of his wrist, the rest of his clothes disappear. He shifts just enough to pull the blanket away from Steve’s hips, revealing his plain white boxer shorts. And with another wave of his hand, those are gone as well, along with Steve’s shirt. 

Leaning on the bed, Loki presses Steve back until he has to shift away from the head board. The blonde pulls Loki down until they are pressed tightly against each other. He can’t stop his hips from rocking, seeking friction. 

Steve’s hands glide over the plains of Loki’s body, feeling every muscle and every movement. He has to pull away and buries his head in the bend between Loki’s neck and shoulder, stifling a moan when the gods hand brushes against the side of his painfully erect cock. 

He lets out a gasp when Loki wraps slick fingers around him and gives him two slow strokes. “Where did you?”

“Magic,” is the only reply Steve gets as Loki pulls his hand away and reaches back, trailing slick fingers over the cleft of his own ass. The god begins to prepare himself and resumes kissing Steve to distract himself from the discomfort. 

Slicking Steve’s cock again, Loki pulls back to straddle him. The blondes eyes go wide when he realizes what is about to happen.

“Wait.”

Loki freezes and Steve can see the fear and uncertainty on his face. 

“No, just uh….are you sure this is how you want this? I mean, I can…..I’d be willing… to… ah…”

“Oh?” Loki quirks an eyebrow at Steve and runs his eyes over his muscled chest. The thought of being buried inside Steve sends a warm pulse through his body that he can feel all the way to his toes. “Not to worry. We have all night. But for this, let me take care of you one more time.”

He reaches back and guides Steve into his body. The blonde raises up and threads his hands into Loki’s dark hair, pulling him down closer, into a deep kiss. Slowly Steve lowers himself back down, never releasing Loki’s mouth until they lay joined, chest to chest. 

Slowly and gently, Steve rolls his hips and has to immediately break the kiss to gasp at the sensation. He brings his arms up and wraps them around Loki’s shoulders and back, cradling his body close while the god slides one hand into Steve’s short hair and the other behind his neck. 

They rock and shift against each other, finding pleasure in small movements coupled with the friction of their joined bodies. 

“Loki. I’m close,” Steve moans against his neck.

Pulling out of Steve’s arms just a little, Loki alters the angle of their union until he sucks in a harsh breath at the intense pleasure that shoots through him. “Right there,” he breathes as he grinds down harder to get a little more contact with that spot. 

One hand he rests on the bed next to Steve’s head, the other he works down between their bodies and takes himself in hand. Three short strokes and he is done for, moaning out his release and falling bonelessly down to rest on Steve’s chest again. The blonde shifts his hands to Loki’s hips and pulls him down as he thrusts up, pushing deeper as he reaches his own climax.

For several seconds the only sound is that of their breathing and then a low groan from Steve as Loki sits upright. He reaches out to the bedside table and picks up the knife, offering it to Steve. The blonde smiles up at Loki and runs his fingertips over Loki’s mark before taking the knife and slicing through it, crossing over the old existing scar. 

He hands the knife back to Loki who leans down to kiss Steve first. Sitting back up, he takes the knife and cuts through the name on Steve’s chest. He is careful, ensuring Peggy’s name is not completely obscured. 

Steve takes the knife out of Loki’s hand and drops it on the bedside table before pulling the god down into another kiss. When they break apart, Steve lightly taps Loki on the thigh, indicating he wants the god to get up.

Loki moves, but quips as he sits back against the headboard, “planning on kicking me out of bed as well?”

His tone is joking, but Steve can see the fear in his eyes and he knows Loki is thinking exactly that. He sits up beside the god, leaning slightly in to him, “no, never. I plan on keeping you here forever. Or at least until we get hungry.”

Turning, Loki reaches up and runs his fingers into the hair at the back of Steve’s neck and then kisses him. He is turned so that his back is to the door, but he doesn’t need to look when there is a knock on it, to know that this peaceful moment is about to be ruined. 

“I have taken Vanessa back to her- Loki!”

He drops his head, but remains facing Steve, “yes Thor?”

“I told you Steven Rogers is a good man! I trusted you with his care!”

“Thor,” Steve tries to cut in.

“He should be spending time with his unbonded, not-“

“Thor!” Steve yells. “Vanessa isn’t my unbonded. Loki is.”

Reluctantly, Loki straightens and looks at his brother. 

“Loki? I do not understand.” He eyes flick between the two men’s chests, confirming what Steve has said. 

“Can you give us a minute?” Steve asks and Thor simply nods before ducking back out of the room and closing the door. 

Steve gives Loki a quick peck on the cheek. “I’ll be right back. And I’ll bring back something to eat. I’m starving.” He flashes Loki a smirk and then pulls on a pair of sweat pants and his white shirt from before. 

Thor is standing in the kitchen when Steve comes out of the bedroom. 

“Loki never told me he met his soul mate,” Thor tells him.

“I know. Its complicated.”

Thor looks at Steve, waiting for an explanation, but Steve doesn’t elaborate. “I’m sure he will tell you when he is ready.”

Steve leans back against the counter, “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“If you had known Loki was unbonded, would you have brought him to me for commitment?”

The answer is given immediately, with no hesitation. “No. I would not have.”

Before Steve can let that sink in, Thor continues. “You are a good friend Steven, but I would not knowingly put my brother in a situation where he felt like he had no choice. If he did indeed choose this commitment with you, then I am glad of it. For both of you.”

Thor looks over Steve’s shoulder to the now open bedroom door, where Loki is standing, having heard their conversation.

“I shall leave you two alone.” 

And then he is gone. Leaving Steve and Loki alone. They have spent many hours, just the two of them, while Steve was sick, but this is different. The air feels charged with an infinite number of possibilities for a future that neither man expected to have. 

Steve looks at Loki, leaning on the door frame and crosses the room in a few large strides until he is standing directly in front of the god, pulling him forward, into a deep kiss. “I’m suddenly not hungry anymore,” he says.

Loki grins and practically drags him back into the bedroom, “me either.”

 

Steve wakes up to the early morning sun streaming through the window and reaches for Loki, only to find his side of the bed empty and cold. He sits up and grabs the piece of paper on Loki's pillow. 

_Steve,_  
_One of the first things Thor told me about you was that you are a good man. I had no real concept of what that truly meant until now. You deserve so much more than I can give you. You deserve love and a bond that will span a lifetime. And I have no doubt it will happen. The months ahead will be hard, but please do not forget that I simply wanted to love you too_.

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

  
Epilogue

 

Eight months later

 

_Thor? Are you seeing this?_

_Yes, I see him._

_Do we tell Steve?_

_……._

_Thor? What do you think? Do we call Steve?_

Thor doesn’t answer his team mates. Chances are, Steve has already heard the conversation over their shared comm line.

“Loki,” he greets his brother.

The dark haired god watches Thor approach but doesn’t respond. 

“Steve was very aggrieved when you left. I hope you have not come back only to leave again.”

“Where is he?” Loki asks, ignoring Thor’s comment.

When Thor ignores his question in return, Loki turns on him, “I am fully aware of how Steve feels about my leaving," he snaps.

“He wants you to stay by his side.”

It takes all of Loki’s will power to not roll his eyes. “Yes, a point that he made me very aware of before I left.” 

“And yet you did it anyway. Do you not care at all for what you continue to put him through?”

“Thor! That’s enough!”

The blonde god turns and watches as Steve approaches from the left.

As soon as he is standing in front of Loki, Steve stops and looks the god over. He takes in the way his hair has grown out since he saw him last, the wary look around his eyes. He looks tired and nervous and…..excited?

Neither man speaks while they look one another over. 

“Well?” Steve finally prompts, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Can we not do this in a less public place?” Loki asks, glancing around between Thor, standing only feet away and the rest of the Avengers, scattered over the area where they have been helping clean up after a particularly large and destructive storm.

“Yeah, good idea,” Steve responds and then turns on his heel, fully expecting Loki to follow behind. And he does, without a word.

He climbs on the back of Steve‘s motorcycle and clings to him as the blonde races the bike through the city streets. He still says nothing as they enter the apartment and Steve closes the door behind them. 

It is only when Steve turns and faces him, arms crossed over his chest again, that Loki finally speaks. 

“I have missed you.”

Steve raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t respond. 

Loki can see that Steve is growing impatient and grins. “I found it.”

Steve’s eyes widen and his face breaks out into a grin of his own. “You did?”

“I did,” Loki confirms as he waves his hand, pulling a book from seemingly thin air. He starts to say something else, but is cut off when Steve pulls him close and kisses him fiercely.

“I missed you so much,” Steve whispers when he finally pulls away to breathe. 

“I know. I’m sorry I was away for so long this time, but I found it Steve. I finally found it.”

“These past three months have been hell without you.” And then Steve is kissing him again and fumbling with the catches on his leather tunic.

“Why do you always insist on dressing like this? Takes too long to get it off you.”

Loki laughs and reaches up to his side, unhooking the buckle with one hand. “Only because you are so impatient.” 

“Of course I’m impatient. You’ve only been here a day or two at a time every few weeks. That’s hardly enough.”

Steve rids Loki of his shirt and proceeds to kiss and nip at the skin over Loki’s collar bones and neck. He steps back and takes Loki’s hand, pulling him along towards the bedroom. And the god just laughs. Coming back to Steve always brings him such joy and now with the book…..

It doesn’t take long and Steve has him naked, laid out on the bed writhing in pleasure and he never wants it to stop. Except that he actually does. But when he looks down the length of his body at short blonde hair and blue eyes that turn up towards him, he almost forgets why. 

“Steve,” he moans. And then realizes that is more likely to encourage the man than detour him.

So he grabs at his hair, dragging his fingers over his scalp and tugs. That makes Steve pause, but then he resumes his attentions with renewed vigor. 

“Steeeeeeeeve…..” That’s not helping either. 

“The book!” he forces himself to say. It comes out as more of a whine, but Steve does stop and look up at him. And then his tongue slides out and licks across his lips and Loki wonders if Steve knows what an incredible tease he is being. Judging by the look in the blondes eye, he knows exactly what he is doing.

It takes all of Loki’s will power to not just push Steve’s head back down and let himself be enveloped in that exquisite mouth until he comes undone, but that’s not how he wants this particular reunion to go. 

Loki raises up on his elbows, “the book. Book first,” he pants. 

Steve’s cheeks flush even more than they had been from his exertions, “sorry. I got a little excited. You’re back. You found the book. I couldn’t help myself.”

“Never apologize for wanting to give me such pleasures,” Loki admonishes playfully. “But before this goes any further and I lose the ability to think, I wish to use the spell.”

Getting up off the bed, Steve picks up the book from where Loki had set it on the dresser just before Steve manhandled him on to the bed. He climbs back on the bed and hands it to Loki, who flips through about half of it before stopping and turning the page for him to look at. 

It is written in a language that Steve can’t read and doesn’t recognize as belonging to Earth, but there are some pictures and he grins, reaching out to carefully run his finger tips over them. 

“Its actually much simpler than I anticipated,” Loki explains as he takes Steve’s hand. He looks directly in to those beautiful blue eyes and asks, “and you still want to do this?”

Even after all this time, there is still that fear, that vulnerability. And Steve just wants to kiss it away. He tries. He isn’t sure if it works, but he tries.

It is some minutes later that Loki stops him. “Once the incantation is done, we will want to consummate the spell.”

And there is something in his tone. He sounds too serious, but also… playful? 

“Does it actually say that?”

The expression on Loki’s face is incredulous when he looks at Steve, “are you really going to argue with me about that?”

Definitely playful. “It’s what I do,” Steve teases.

“Tell me again why I keep coming back?” This time the tone is unquestionably fond.

And before he can stop himself from further teasing, Steve grins and the words just slip out of his mouth. “Because you love me.”

Steve freezes and he can feel his cheeks burn. After all these months, the amount of days they have been able to spend together can almost be counted on two hands. And even if Steve has grown sure of his feelings, Loki has yet to speak of his own. Steve can hardly fault him, he hasn’t spoken the words aloud either.

“Yes, I do. Desperately so.” Loki averts his eyes at the admission, only to gasp when Steve all but pounces on him again, pulling him into a deep kiss that leaves them both breathless. 

Although, not too breathless for Steve to say, “I love you too.”

Loki stares at him, mouth agape. And Steve thinks that outside of sex this is possibly the first time he has seen Loki speechless. If nothing else, it is this that focuses Steve’s attention.

“The spell,” he prompts, gesturing at the book.

This time Loki blushes and that’s another first. He gets up off the bed and retrieves the blood letting knife from the velvet box in the closet that Steve keeps it in. When he climbs back in bed, he pulls the blanket up over their laps, mindful of how they are both still incredibly aroused and then waves a hand over the book so Steve can actually read the spell. Loki is correct. It is simple. Surprisingly so. 

Lifting the knife, Loki makes a cut directly over Steve’s heart, below Peggy’s name and then places his palm over the wound.

“Vos autem estis filii mei sanguis sanguis, et os de ossibus meis. Corpus meam do vobis, ut unus esset Duo. Quid vobis et meo spiritu, ‘Vita nostra usque petieris, impetrabis.” 

Steve takes the knife and makes his own cut on Loki’s chest, placing his hand over it as well.

“Vos autem estis filii mei sanguis sanguis, et os de ossibus meis. Corpus meam do vobis, ut unus esset Duo. Quid vobis et meo spiritu, ‘Vita nostra usque petieris, impetrabis.” 

He surprises himself by not stumbling over any of the spell. And as soon as the last word is out of his mouth, Steve can feel a burning sensation over his chest. One that is familiar, but that he hasn’t felt in over seventy years. 

He doesn’t need to see it to know that it is there. But still, when Loki lifts his hand, he can’t help but look down at his chest. And there it is, his soulmate mark. His new soulmate mark. Directly under Peggy’s name it now reads ‘Loki Laufeyson’. He is afraid to move his own hand for fear that something will have gone wrong, but he has no choice when Loki reaches up and takes hold of his wrist, gently pulling his hand away. 

Steve Rogers. He can see it. Right there on his soulmates chest.

 

Later as they lay, bodies twined together, Steve idly runs his fingers over his name. “I know its not a palace on Asgard, but you will be staying here with me now right?”

Loki huffs a laugh, “no it is not. This is better.” He is quiet for a moment before adding. “Of course you have to keep in mind that my most recent accommodations on Asgard were within its prison.”

The smile fades as Loki thinks about the next issue that he will have to deal with that could potentially take him away from Steve yet again. “I will have to go back to face the All Father.”

“You’ll want to talk to Thor about that. He has been speaking to Odin on your behalf.” He waits a beat before continuing. “I spoke to Odin as well and I think if you agree to stay here, with me, he will let you go.”

Loki’s hand stops from where it had been gliding up and down Steve’s back. “Oh. Well then. I suppose I better get the rest of my belongings.” His hand resumes stroking Steve’s back. “We’re going to have to do something about the décor though.”

Steve can hear the smile in his voice and looks up to give Loki one of his own. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. So Steve actully knew Loki was going to leave to try and hunt down a soul mate spell. He didn't like it, but Loki wanted to prove his worth and be Steve's actual soul mate. Of course Steve didn't need that, but as I said before, he is a hopeless romantic.
> 
>  
> 
> The spell is actually a Celtic wedding vow, clumsily translated to Latin. And because its been about a million years since I studied Latin, I used google translate. So lets just go with it.
> 
> You are the blood of my blood, and bone of my bone. I give you my body, that we two might be one. I give you my spirit, till our life shall be done. 
> 
>  
> 
> And thats it! Super soft and fluffy ending for these beautiful boys.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like it, I'd love to hear about it.


End file.
